To be or not to be...That is the question!

William Shakespear once wrote, "To be or not to be.." For me that line goes for everything. To be a friend or not to be a friend.  I realised about a month ago, something about a "close" friend of mine. A friend I had placed both value and respect to, that she was not the person I thought she was. Not that I hadn't realised some of the things she did or said, but more of the fact that I didn't want to realise it.What made me cross the line to disrespect? She had said some things about me that one shouldn't say about friends, and I'm not the person who cares what anybody says about me anymore, but even though its not a cool thing to discover, even if it may be just a small thing.

What are friends even? I've asked myself that question a thousand times, and still I don't really have an answer, because everybody is a friend in their own way. Some people are there for you no matter what happens, some are there for you just in words and there are those friends who acts like your bestfriend and as soon as you turn your back they stab you.

This past year has thought me a lot about people in general, Everybody lies, cheats and steal if you let them. It's a horrible thing to say about people, but I've discovered that it just simply is the truth, no matter what anybody says. I wish I was wrong, but after everything I lived through last year, I can't change my words and my experience.

It's horrible to "loose" hope with people, but now I'm just never surprised of what people tell me or do to me. I've been foolishly kind and tried to help people, without getting anything back. So what am I now, you may ask. Well I'm lonely by choice, I fool people trying to be a friend, because a person is not buildt to be alone.

What do I want the most? Well that's a secret I never would tell anyone given all the facts. I'm so disapointed  in alot of the people I know, and sometimes, a lot of times, all the time, I wish I didn't have all of this to think of. Most of the time, I wish I could be a kid again, not that my childhood was the best, but at least I didn't know all of the things I know now.


If people who know me should take offense, my advice is if you do feel like I stepped on your toes, I guess that's something to do with your conciousness and not me.

Maybe not all hope is lost, I never say never(OMG cant believe I just quoted Justin Bibeber! just saying...), but there is alot of convincing to do for me to believe again or to open myself fully again to anybody!

Getting used, punched, tossed away, like yesterdays garbage, forgotten, taken for granted, and all of the above, it's done. It's so yesterday(OMG that was Hillary Duff for you who didn't know...) Been there done that! Never again. I'm stronger and more prepared for whats to come!

Enough is enough! People grow up and see the truth! I'm not perfect, but I always try to be a human with som ethics and moral! Where did it go? I think we might need a relic hunter, because nothing is sacred anymore! Not even life itself!

Peace out!